There are healthier ways of talking to your child to convince them to do as you say.
You’ve noticed that your child spends too much time on her phone, but your efforts to speak to your child about her excess phone use has resulted in her being distant and cold. If so, counsellor Ralitza Peeva says that you should evaluate your approach, as it may come across as a case of parent “bullying”. “This occurs when parents refuse to listen and belittle or use shame to undermine their kids’ self-esteem, impose their own agenda and ambition, and force children to perform out of fear,” she says.
What can I do to have my child listen to me?
Instead of nagging, Ralitza recommends listening to children with attention, love and curiosity. “Remember that your children learn from your behavioral patterns,” she says, adding, “Ask yourself honestly if you are addicted to social media yourself. Do you look at your phone at the dinner table or while your child is sharing exciting events in their day with you?”
Once you’ve identified these factors, the challenge then is to find the right balance between boundaries and freedom, says Ralitza, as a parent’s voice is what children typically embody as their own internal critic for the rest of their lives. “It makes a difference if it’s a loving voice that guides with care and support.”
402 Orchard Rd, Delfi Orchard, #06-01, 238876
Tel: 9101 9313
From The Finder (Issue 292), June 2018
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