According to counsellor Ralitza Peeva, a new baby brings joy and elation, but couples also face little sleep, exhaustion, constant need to multitask and changes in their libido.
Additionally, they will need to deal with major adjustments to their schedules, possible postpartum depression as well as a lack of time as a couple and as individuals with their own interests and hobbies.
Communication is Key
Like in every other situation couples face, communication is the way to successfully address each other’s worries, needs and expectations. Allow yourself to make requests of your partner. Give each other the permission to express what you feel and what you need without fear of being considered selfish or uncaring. Chances are, your partner feels the same way.
Share the Load
The arrival of a baby changes our routines and reshapes the way we look at our days. Learn to delegate some of the tasks to your network – visiting grandparents or an experienced domestic helper or a night nanny – so that both of you don’t have to do it all by yourselves. Being supermom and superdad may work for a few days, but the unnecessary stress and resentment are not worth it.
Be Fair to Each Other
Allow your partner to rest or enjoy his or her hobby when you can accomplish a task with your helper, and do the same for yourself whenever possible. Ask your partner how how he or she feels, and connect with him or her by sharing your hopes, frustration, worries, desires and fears. Reintroduce date night or go for a staycation even if it means just an uninterrupted cuddle and sleep through the night. Remember that everything is a phase, and that you will be able to gain back your identity and interests in due time.
402 Orchard Rd, Delfi Orchard, #06-01, 238876
Tel: 9101 9313
From The Finder (Issue 294), August 2018
More on The Finder:
Don’t miss out! Like our Facebook page for event updates and more.