There are several characteristic physical symptoms we experience when we are angry and/or resentful
According to counsellor Ralitza Peeva, these characteristics vary from person to person. There are some who clench their jaws or catch themselves grinding their teeth. Others experience sweaty palms and get hot flushes and headaches.
Despite these physical symptoms, the important factor is knowing how to deal with the feelings that are causing these reactions.
Coming to terms with your anger
The first step to take when we feel the grip of anger and resentment is to acknowledge and be aware that we are experiencing these emotions. The difference between anger and resentment is a matter of debate. There is an agreement among philosophers that resentment is a type of anger, with some believing that resentment is anger that we have not dealt with.
The most constructive way to deal with resentment is to address the situation. Find the appropriate time and open a conversation where, ideally, both sides are aware of the difficulty and are committed to not be defensive and to hear what is the version of “reality” that the other person has. Having a conversation does not mean that a resolution will be reached, but both sides will feel that there is room for their concerns to be heard.
Dealing with Resentment While Living in SG
Notice how you can escalate and de-escalate your anger experience. Express your concerns, what you need and what would be helpful to you. Look at your schedule and notice if there is balance in your daily life.
Research has shown that yoga and meditation can have benefits for our well-being. If you are experiencing a heavy-going day, take a few minutes every two to three hours and practise deep breaths – they don’t require a special room. You can practise deep breathing anywhere – in the MRT train, in the bus, in your car, at your computer, or even during a long meeting. We all have a lot more ability to unload and decompress than we choose to see.
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From The Finder Issue 296, December 2018
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