JASSMIN PETER speaks to Singapore's professional expat "baby whisperers", who explain why sleeping like a baby is difficult for some infants and suggest ways to improve your tot's sleeping patterns, so everyone enjoys some shut-eye.
Ensuring your baby takes regular naps or sleeps through the night is perhaps the biggest challenge of early parenthood. Yet it remains one of the least addressed. A parent functioning on little or no sleep is a totally different person compared to one who enjoys sufficient rest. So for your sake - and your family's - read on for sweet dreams.
Sleep timetable
The amount of sleep your child needs during his or her first 12 months changes every six weeks. Newborns need around 18 hours of sleep each day while infants (up to 12 months) should be snoozing up to 12 hours a day. Initially, a newborn's sleep pattern is disorganised, but by four months, day and night sleeping patterns become clear and naps should number three per day.
As bub gets older, the amount of night-time sleep stabilises and day naps are reduced. By six months of age, most babies need two long naps (60 to 90 minutes) and one short one (20 to 30 minutes). At nine months babies are snoozing twice a day and by the time they're 12 months, just once during the day. Being aware of these changes enables you to detect if your baby is experiencing sleep issues.
Tammy Fontana owner of baby and child sleep consultancy Baby Sleep Fairy, advises, "You cannot and should not sleep train a child under the age of 16 weeks. Sleep has to do with brain development and a baby's brain at less than 16 weeks isn't mature enough to cope with sleep training. In fact, most sleep problems are behavioural and are based on incorrect parent-child interaction."
Unhealthy sleep patterns
According to Tammy, sleep problems are the same at any age. Issues can include bedtime struggles, waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning, not being able to fall asleep independently, or not taking naps at all, especially if your child is less than three years of age.
Unhealthy sleep patterns are typically a result of "sleep association habits" encouraged by parents such as rocking, patting, bouncing or feeding a baby until they fall sleep. Shona Sanosi, Early Years Advisor and Director of the Blue House Nursery, also owns Figi UK, a childhood consultancy service.
She explains why, in the long run, such techniques become more of a hindrance than a help. "After an initial 30 minutes of sleep, we all enter a 'light sleep' stage. Adults are able to put themselves back to sleep, but babies aren't capable of this. If your child becomes dependent on 'bad' sleep associations, they won't be able to self-settle without that crutch and a poor sleep routine is formed."
Why consistency works
Routine makes a baby feel loved, safe and secure. In her bestseller The Contented Little Baby Book, childcare guru Gina Ford advises parents to settle their baby into a 7am to 7pm routine. Ford recommends waking baby for the first feed of the day at 7am and feeding every four hours thereafter. She then advises morning naps, lunchtime naps and late-afternoon naps should take place at specific times, until the last feed of the day, at 6:15pm, followed by bedtime at 7pm. While this concept is not new, it is effective and is supported by other experts in the field. Shona, who has developed a similar routine with her five-year old twins, believes routine helps your child know what to expect. It also assists you in determining if your child is tired, hungry or ready to play. She believes every child is capable of sleeping for a five-hour stretch - especially at night - and outlines a typical night-time sleep routine, which when done repeatedly, signals the arrival of bedtime, easing your child into the process.
Shona's bedtime routine
- Give baby a bath - a soothing experience for both mum and bub.
- Massage to relax muscles. This is also a good time to chat with your baby.
- Use a soft, low and relaxed tone of voice to establish "mood".
- Put baby in his or her bassinet or cot in a dark room.
- Read a story. When your child is young, it should be the same story every night.
- Put on a CD of lullabies or classical music. Or better yet, sing to your baby.
- Give your child a goodnight kiss and leave the room. If you linger your baby will associate you with sleep and expect the same treatment every bedtime, holding you hostage.
Out & about
Establishing a good sleep pattern is only half the battle, maintaining it is another challenge altogether. Especially if you want to socialise!Social eventsIllness/TeethingTravelling baby to sleep past wake-up time. Control the wake time not the bed time. You can't force a child to sleep, but you can always wake them up. By doing so, they'll soon fall asleep at your preferred time.
Helping hands
Essentially, the key is to remain focused on a routine - no matter what. All it takes is one or two days and nights of irregularity for your baby to detach from a previous sleep routine and adopt a new one.
If all else fails, call in the experts. Certified baby whisperers Tammy Fontana (Baby Sleep Fairy Tel: 9030 7239, www.babysleep fairy.com, Email: tammy@babysleepfairy.com) and Shona Sanosi (Figi UK Tel: 9036 1663, www.thebluehousenursery.com, Email: shonasanosi@thebluehousenursery.com) have had years of experience in helping parents and kids get a sound night's rest.
By evaluating the interaction between you and your child both Tammy and Shona can create a solution to suit your parenting style. And don't fret, problems can be solved in just two to three days. All you need to do is ask for help.
Don't overcompensate for jetlag by allowing your If your child isn't feeling well, you should sleep in their room - rather than invite them into yours. If visits to family and friend's homes overlap with nap and night sleep-time, don't bring baby.
